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I'm fat
I am at least 10 kg heavier than I was last year. Just had an emotional discussion with my boyfriend regarding the issue. I always hate it when this weight issue is bothering my normal life. I was a chubby kid back then and my mom used to call me a DBKL because I always finish all the left overs on the dining table after everyone finished their meal. And those words always make me sad. Somehow, no matter how much weight I lose, I am always a fat chick inside. It's like a curse. There have been so many dieting talks lately that makes me so !@£$%^&*. Pardon me but I really don't know what word should I used to describe how I feel. It was the same feeling when the DBKL status was granted to me. Since I left high school, I've decided to just be a happy person. Why care so much when myself is just so comfortable under this skin. Since then life has been easy for me. Probably back then I was under my mother's care, I eat and sleep well and my weight was just nice. This year's weight gain is most probably because of the poor diet control after moving out. It was not actually my problem until lately. My boyfriend's family members are all great in shape and his mom is very particular in take caring her food intake. Even his bother's girlfriend has super slim and hot body. It stresses me honestly. Everyone repeatedly tells me the same thing, 'Annie, you just need to eat the correct proportion'. Sigh.. It is just hard not to get hungry in the middle of the night doing so. I know... I know... It's always 'You're just giving yourself excuses'. I've been doing this for most of the part of my life. It is either my own bloody fault, or God just played a trick on me. Well, the rules is not up to me, I guess I need to play by the rules until I win, or I die.
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2 comments:
I think you look ok actually. I don't understand how you can live outside and still gain weight. Do you cook yourself? If yes then there is a big fat opportunity to change the way you eat. All the way from how many times you eat, what you eat to how much you eat. I said I can't understand because I just could not possibly gain weight because I am often too tired to cook, so I often combine lunch and dinner so I only have to cook one meal. Then because chicken here is quite expensive, I only eat it once or twice a month. Very commonly my meal is just pasta/rice/potato + stir fry vegetable (eg tomato, or red or yellow pepper, or mushroom, or bolognaise). I try to stick to the 5-a-day and sometimes have fish. So you can see the calorie is not much. I don't know why in malaysia 'low-carb' is so in fashion now. The right amount of carb is not going to make you fat. Provided you don't just lie on the bed all day, all females are bound to burn 2000kcal per day just from the metabolic process in the body (like respiratory, digestive process, brain activity etc). You can count your calories by reading the labels or google up for raw food (for example cucumber consists of virtually no calorie), but I don't recommend it as people can get carried away doing these. Exercise is essential. If you can't so specific things, then practical stuff like using the stairs rather than lift (if it's safe enough), sit up when watching television all burn calories and increase your metabolic rate. Weight loss doesn't happen overnight. When you try to cut down on food, the body senses it and and will try to compensate and maintain the weight by complex hormonal processes (including psychological influence - making you feel the hunger and craving). But if you do it gradually and steadilly then the body have more of a chance to get used to the idea of burning those extra carbohydrate and fat deposits.
Anything is possible at our age. Don't fret. I'm sure you can achieve your target if you set your mind to it!
Thanks for the advises guys. Cheng I need to edit a bit of your comment because of some sensitive issues that must be kept private. Anyhow this is your comment to me after the alteration.
Try to see yourself differently.. It really does make a difference. After those big big meals, i always put on 1 or 2kg. Then i tell myself this is just temporary and my body has its own magic to return to my normal weight when i return to my normal eating habits. Then it does. Then i'd smile to my body and say "Thank u! U are so nice!". Haha! Maybe u'd say it's because i'm me and my metabolism rate is always high. But there must be a reason The Secret (the self help book) is so famous. There aso must be a reason y some ppl eat so much and are still so thin. The 'right' portion for everyone is different. Just try and think ur body has the same magic as mine, just tat it hasn't been awaken. Occasionally, thank and praise ur body for doing such a good job at surviving and thus allow u to live easier. Maybe u'd then discover the magic ur body has.
Maybe it's a bit to do with the unhealthy meals and eating habit u have out there. It's important to have regular meals. I say maintain ur normal portion if u think it fits u best. Try not to have too much high calory snacks. If u really wan to snack, try n find fruits and healthy stuff like tat.
The most important thing is to change ur thinking.. Stop saying that u are always a fat chick inside. It's not going to help. Mummy was mean to say u r a DBKL.. Forgive her and let the past be the past ok?
Last but not least, i wish u for the new year, happy and successful dieting!! Hope u'd soon find ur confident self again!
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