I have been feeling really low esteem lately. Probably it's just the assignments pressure. Failing for two time before I pass my assignment is not fun. It's devastating. I need some encouragement because I am feeling worthless now. I think anyone on the street is better than me. I'm running aimlessly with time now. Not knowing where I want to go and what else can I do. Even the thing that I love the most and I felt I was doing fine isn't fine anymore. Even I have tried my My portrait drawings are getting bad to worse, my singing sucks and my attitude... killing souls. Even when I try my best, I'm still so shitty. I am found out that I no longer can say: I used to... because I can no longer do the same anymore. I don't know why I such a junk. I can't do anything extraordinarily incredible. I guess I'll need to settle with being a mediocre for life. I suck!
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Update on Life Progress
7 months ago
7 comments:
Hey, it's completely normal to feel like shit sometimes, absolutely normal I can assure you. Because I feel like that about five days in a week at the moment. Nothing wrong with being mediocre. You may shine in some of the days in your life. But like one of my choral speaking poems said 'when you dig the grave, you only see dust'.
Been reading some buddhism book lately because I feel shit as well and could have died in the car accident. It helped. The solution to getting out of this shitty state is actually quite simple: just look beyond yourself and your immediate social circle. Find an opportunity to reach out to another person, learn their story and their ups and downs of life. I like to help people. But if you don't want to, you don't have to. If any of your friend is from outstation and want to balik kampung for a while, you can ask if you can just follow. Experience something unrountinely, let your mind be free of thought relating to yourself.
I don't know if I have helped. But I can tell you again that you are not alone. I spent so much effort making sure that I'm ahead of other medical students. But now, somehow I'm not happy. And I'm falling behind. I don't know. Just in a state of don't know what to do. I love talking to patients, so if there is at least a few patients to talk to I'll be ok for the day. But if that happens to be the day no patient wants to talk to me, then I'd think what am I doing here wasting time in this stupid hospital and what's the point when I could be in Malaysia and enjoy mummy's cooking.
If you want to talk to me let me know and I'll give you a call.
hmmmmm.. ur post so emo.. chill chill.. it's normal n it takes just a matter of time to recover.. sooon! (=
Thanks for your reply on my blog too.
Actually you were the one with the cry for help, how come it sounded as if you were consoling me in your comment?
Anyway glad that you have been happier. I heard that you are taking up the accompaniment job for Wan Lee's violin exam? I'm sure you'll do well. Just need to practise practise and practise. Playing piano is great - takes your mind off anything else. I miss playing piano. I am going to use my first salary to buy a digital piano and create funky music. What say you? Good idea?
Alright then. Going back to the other hospital today. Keep in touch and take care.
And by the way do you want to tighten the security to comment on your blog? I notice there are some unknown people posting junks to your comment.
Yee Yen: Buying a new piano.. hmm. Good and bad idea. I miss playing the piano ever since I move here so having a piano should be fun. But you should also think if next time how are you going to shift it if you're moving to stay at some place else.
Yea... comment security tighten d. =)
Ok i'm a bit late.. But just to remind u tat u are not alone, everyone has their moments when they feel like shit.. My shittest moment is when i was working in the kindergarten.. And i had to bear with yen saying how nice kids are to work with, how mummy took care of so many of us, how u can be a star when u work while it's like hell to me.. U all din even care to be more sensitive to how i was feeling! Haha.. The point is, it will be over.. No matter how low u are feeling right now, it will go away soon, and everything will be ok again.
And yen is right. If u are really in a point of serious depression, try to take some time to put down ur problem and look at others'. Then u'll realise how small and unsignificant these problem is.
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