Keeping my promise

I'm posting 3 posts in a go, while I still can, I'd like to keep my promise to keep updating. Besides my hectic academic and working life, I'm kinda get involved in the emotional club too lately. Apparently, my last date turns out to be a good t one, too good perhaps. I've become so close, kinda like good friends together and start acting like couples. We've talked about it, and both of us know the bio-chemical changes in us. Both of us decide that it is still not the right time to start anything when both are not ready for anything. He broke up a month or two ago, and me half a year ago. Things are just going back to normal and I'm just starting to get use to it. I'm in a dilemma now honestly. I know part of me just want someone to care and love me, but I still remember the past cut which is still very deep and the scar will always be there. Holding me back so much until I feel at first I thought I even will never even like anyone ever again. He is actually the first in a long long time that make me keep thinking. At first, I was this close of keeping myself away and giving this up and just keep this just to friendship, but apparently whenever he asked me out is the time I feel like going out, due to the stress of my studies and work. He is the person that I can talk non stop with and forget whatever problem I had. I cannot say I love him or so, because it is not yet -- love. I do not care if he is out with another girl or not, I do not feel anything when he talks about other girl in front of me, and weirdly I do not feel any jealousy in what so ever he do. Maybe I do not care more. Or I'm no longer like the old me anymore. I would like to keep it this way if I can. No commitment, just caring each other without questions, not getting too involve in each others' lives until I feel like dying without him. If there's another possibility that this will end like my previous relationship, at least I can minimize the hurt in myself. I don't know where to start thinking so I just stop thinking. Just let it be and deal with it like an adult. I just have to know where to draw the line and balance myself in the rational and emotions part, as being too rational is holding me back too much.