(Delay post 4-6-2007)

My family went home this evening. I’m staying at one of my auntie’s (my mom’s brother’s wife) house now. I started to feel a little lonely. Hmm.. I’m here anyway so may as well enjoy this time. My relatives are actually kinda like me too. Everyone in my family (mom side) likes to eat a lot, but they are like the exaggerated version of me. They can actually eat 24 hours non-stop if they are allowed to. This morning we went to a place call ‘lok lok’ to eat ‘gai si hor fun’ (slice chicken kuew teaw). It was pack with people in the morning. According to my cousin grew here in Taiping, there is a popular place to eat cause their ‘hor fun’ is really delicious. Well, it all tasted the same for me. Then we went to Aulong to get some homemade ‘heong peng’ (cookies) to take back to KL. There is still a small not so developed area. And surprisingly these days I still can find fishes in the drain. The last time I saw living things in the longkang was trough a microscope in the lab. Those living things weren’t something you like them near you, trust me. Then again, we went to a so called ‘Olden Days Kopitiam’ opened by my anutie’s brother. I had a drink there and got to go online for a few hours there. After we got back from there, we sent everyone off to their journey back home. So now it’s just me and my aunt. So, I joined her together with her side of family for dinner. It was pretty awkward cause there was nearly no conversation between me to anyone there. Hee.. ‘Nearly’, so the ice did melt a little bit just too safe the embarrassing time. Then ‘again’, we went ‘yum cha’ (drink tea) at a nearby coffee shop. They were talking about fortune telling, seeing the ‘batzhi’, the book for the pass present and future life, then they talked about fung shui and those people who they went to look for just to get the numbers to buy ‘zhi’ (like Toto numbers and etc…). These people really trust this shot of things so much that they’d spend hundreds or thousands just to help them get good fortune or to get the number which will comes for the next Toto. It seems kinda obsess to me. I don’t mind people believing in such things, these things (fortune telling) exist till now have it own reason cause maybe some part of the telling came true so it keep passing down from generation to generation. But, this is over man. Seeing people using these to get rich from gamble really pisses me off. It just makes me see the greedy side of a human. It’s such a shame. From morning till night, keep going everywhere to look for fortune teller, arrange their house and fill it with ‘zhao chai mao’ just because ‘it’s good for the fung shui of the house’. It’s good enough for me just be how you are. Even if these things really work, I don’t think I want luck to bring me wealth from gambling. Let skip it to the next topic. Why it is so hard for me to say no? I was so sure and determine. And yet, when listening to his begging and plus, he’s here so convenient when I need company, just too hard. I didn’t wanna hurt anyone. I guess I have to. Honestly, the one in my heart still can’t be replaced. Can tell that from him appearing in my dreams. I’m so tempted to contact him, especially when I’m lonely here. I wish I could just talk to him for a second. I’m not sure are we gonna be friends again. If only everything can be normal again.