What's my passion?

It has been long since I really sit down and think about what I want to be. This use to be a regular question that I always answer when I was young. I wanted to become a stewardess when I was in kindergarten because stewardess are all pretty. Then I want to become a policewomen when I was in standard one, the reason is just because of the uniform of a policewomen looks nice (in my childhood picture dictionary of course). When I became a little older, I wanted to be a singer. I realize I enjoy singing a lot. Everyone who knows my family well must also know that all my sisters and I are songbirds. We used sing non stop on our way back home in my dad's car after meals. When I was in form one, I was first taught how to paint, then I won for my first time in an art competition. Since that time, I love painting a lot too, that was when I thought I want to be an artist. But even though I had a dream in the art side, I still pursue my studies in science stream. That was the young and naive side of me that made that choice. My understanding back than was 'clever people go to science stream, stupid people go to art stream'. Well, that was what the education system taught me. Good result go to science stream, bad result go to art stream. I was just thinking I don't want to be called as a stupid who don't study science, that's all. Oh well.. moving on. I remember I wanted to be designer when I grow up because I create my own stuff and don't need to memorize other people's stuff. I told my mom about it last time and she said designer is very hard to earn a living, so I gave up. I know this very young that money is the most important thing of all. Finally, I got into my form six education in a sub-science stream. I studied economics and felt in love with it. I love to see how money is so easy to earn in the economy (theory), hence I wanted to be an entrepreneur, but as time passed, I felt lazy because to become an entrepreneur, there are a lot to do and sacrifice and I felt that I wasn't ready for that. As I was getting desperate for an ambition, I pick one for myself, I choose to be in the communication line. Not because I think I am good in it, because it is the most versatile course, which means you can still be in which industry you wanna be after taking this course. But PR, events, promotions, advertising are all related to this course, and my interests are mostly in this field, so I finally took up this course. Honestly, I still didn't know what I want to be as I enter college. I though college will bring me closer to what I want to be, but Taylor's College communication course just brought be further from my dream so far.  I mentioned in my pass blog post that how Taylor's College has disappoint Media Management students, it crushes my dream as well. I wanted to an advertiser, but I fail my first advertising assignment (lucky my next assignment wasn't that bad) which bring down my sprit so much of wanting to be an advertiser. Then a broadcaster. As I show my first video shooting to my boyfriend, he said it wasn't even up to standard yet to compare to other colleges' students' work. Sigh.. There it goes. I'm doomed. I can't find something to have my passion in it already. I know this is a terrible time to run out of passion.. hell, Im already 21. Kar told be that if a person's passion is true, it won't be crushed that easy. Obviously, I didn't have a passion before because I all dreams had been crushed some part in my life. I'm not blaming anyone for this. I guess sometimes, life is just like that. You can't have all you want. Well, many people of my mom and dad's generation did not get their chance to pursue their dreams either, so what's for whine. Or maybe someday, I'll finally get to have that, the fire in my heart that will not die off even how many obstacles there are. I hope to have that one day.