A classmate of mine told me this today. He asked me why do I make up so heavily to class. When I told this to Kar what he said was why bother what he thinks about me as I am the one who should feel how I should look. Although to many people, this might be a small matter, but to me, I have very heavy self conscious. I would go on a drastic diet just because people said I gain some weight and should loss 10 kgs. So this little comment actually bothers me more than anyone expected. I always believe in not putting any make up and go natural previously, because my mother used to said that to me, 'ugly people will do all the things in the world to look pretty'. Recently I learn how to use make up, and suppose to make me more confident about myself. After that comment today, I felt extremely low confidence. My other classmates put on makeups too, but why people wanna pick on me? I was just using eyeliner. Is that like 'too thick make up' for going to a class? How about people who use concealer? or face cream? sunblock? eye shadow? lip stick? lip gloss? bla bla bla... I don't even own some of those products. This you call too much? I don't even style my hair. All I want is just quit looking like a zombie to class. T_T Can't you just leave me alone??
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Update on Life Progress
7 months ago
8 comments:
Strange isn't it how sometimes little things can upset us so much. From my experience, you are at the age which you are still very sensitive to certain things, such as this. I remember at your age when mummy talk about my pimples and pressure me to use seishedo products, I put up a cool i-don't-care face but deep inside I was extremely hurt. Don't worry you are not alone. It's just hormones playing up. Hopefully as you get older, you will be able to draw strength from within to fend yourself against these attacks and feel secure about who you are. I'm sure the day will come.
I always admire your confidence Yee Yen. Since young, despite how we ejek your Egyptian hair style, you still look confident in it. Probably I'm still in the stage of searching for the real me in myself. Like you said.. it's the hormones I guess.
Hahaha.. Egyptian hair style.. Now u noe how it feels la..
I think everyone has to go thru stages like this wan la.. When i was in primary skool, u all always say my eyes small, plus i'm the only one in the family who doesn't have double eyelid (not even one eye!), i always feel tat i'm the ugliest person in the family..
Then later, when i went to secondary skool and started my puberty, tat stupid yen (and u sometimes!) kept saying me flat! So shit..
But i'm happy to say i've overcome those things.. However i still have other insecurities and low self esteem in other areas.. I guess these things never stop arising until we totally accept who we are..
Putting up makeup has nothing to do with who u r, it doesn't define u.. So if others are so immature to judge u by ur makeup, let it be.. I noe it's easier said than done.. I've been thru it too.. Like yen said, u are not alone.. But if tats wat makes u feel good bout urself, accept it totally.. Whenever u receive comments tat hurt, remember tat it's just another situation in ur life.. If u can, accept it. If not, do something to change it. Dun feel troubled by it, becos it's not a problem.
I love u sis!
Wei! Cheng it's a compliment to say you look flat la. One teacher in secondary school told us that swimmers have flat chests because their chests fat all get burnt off from forming those nice big chest and arm muscles, and since then I've been trying to imitate that. I like bulky biceps and happen to hate big boops (What for? So troublesome to exercise and easy to sag...). And in my blog I did said that you have the best body and highest metabolic rate (=no matter how much you eat never get fat - yeeleng sure agree with me!).
Ok ok. I think compared to our two cute youngest sisters, all three of us are average looking when we were young. (Well yeeleng look slightly better, if not how she end up being chosen as class monitor in standard 1?) But I think we have all turned into beautiful swans. And you know why? When we have confidence, we are more eye-pleasing to other people, and most of all we feel much more beautiful ourselves without needing other people's approval (although they help). That's my theory anyway. Feel free to debate on it.
Remember, people always have the right speak for themselves about how they feel or think about you. But bear in mind always that they can never ever take that one important thing away from you and that is how you feel or think about yourself.
It is true that when people say that a life that isn't lived for others can never be considered as a life. But to a certain extent that is. As all things are in this world, everything should be done in a moderate way. Let alone these are opinions from less than 5 people.
You yourself should know how valuable and how beautiful you are. And tell me, if you yourself do not believe in yourself, how do you expect others to do the same? Take others' opinions in a positive way, analyzing them one by one and always looking at them at the brighter side and not the shady side.
From there, you shall learn in time that beauty is at its peak when you yourself make believe and let go all your doubts. I believe everyone that is born in this world has got their own beauty be it in anyway they are. You just need to look at it in a different perspective. Let alone you, an obvious rendition of beauty. ;)
Love,
Guru Kar
Cheng and Yen.. I believe all of us have things that we feel inferior in us. I always envy Cheng's high metabolism rate (it's true ^^), and Yen's height and fair skin, Lee's big eyes and Teng's feminine proportion. I used to feel very good about myself. I remember back in Cheras high school, even though I was fat and fill with pimples on my face, I am always happy and laughing. Probably I am undergoing a phase in discovering who am I really am. I realize I couldn't get the confidence back into me. So now I have identify the problem, I know where to start working on. Thanks for all your comments. They really helped me in coping this problem.
From all these comments, i can see tat girls really are better at enpathising and comforting.. Hahaha.. No offence Kar..
Anyway, yea leng. U really kind of 'shine' at tat time. I hope i can find the part in myself tat could shine right thru like tat. I hope u soon found tat part of u again too!
Hahaha! Beautiful swans? Ah yen so funny la! I oso wanna write something like this in my blog next time so tat u all can come n comment and comment like this.. Btw i agree with yen.
Crazy ah you Cheng? I did not purposely write this blog to get lotsa comments leh. If not one is saying this kinda thing to you that means nothing is wrong with you la... Saje er you... -_-'' *sweat*
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