Piece of cake

The dramatic month is finally ending, I hope. Things are still shaky but the only thing I can do it try to put those aside and focus on the things I need to do, rather than trying to fix it. Thinking of it just make me feel so helpless. I had an emotional rollar-coaster for the past 48 hours. I'm glad the tide has fall but certainly has cause more or less emotional damage inside. Like I said, I'm just trying to ignore and forget about it, I mean the stingy part. I'm still trying to play the best role I can here. It can't be that hard. Just controlling my hot temper PMS in a few days in each month. Can't be that hard right? Just this one thing to exchange for longlast stability I guess its okay. I said before that I'll never ever change for anyone but myself anymore. I just wanna be myself. Call me a chicken, but I'm afaird to face hell again. Fighting and sacrifising for love is never a problem for me. I don't even usually call it sacrifice because I am willing to do those, not forcefully but naturally. For this time, although its against my principle, I think that's better than facing hell. I can give myself a million excuse, saying that this change will probably do good to myself too. I don't wanna inherit my mom's hot temper, neither want anyone around me to hate me because for that. Even if I am not able to do that, just hope that my efford means something.